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Welcome to Sexy TIMES!

This blog will report various, often random and sometimes dubious thoughts, quirks, observations, trivia, tales, questions, dreams, rants, opinions, truths, musings, stories, lies, hopes, moans, fantasies, etc in the hope of tempting you to get involved.

Our mission is to put the facts in the public domain!

Please feel free to write a letter to the editor at LETTERS TO THE EDITOR.

Back issues of Sexy TIMES are available at INDEX OF BACK ISSUES


Sexy TIMES editor: spunkycumfun, Esq.
Sexy TIMES proprietor: Rupert Murdoch
Sexy TIMES executive designer: [blog cherimore]

The editor and, of course, the proprietor take no responsibility for accuracy of the content, nor any responsibility for the propriety of how the content was gathered. Otherwise, Sexy TIMES subscribes to the highest ethical standards of journalism.
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LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
Posted:Nov 25, 2012 7:42 am
Last Updated:Nov 19, 2021 1:46 am
950650 Views


This is Sexy TIMES’ letters page.

Please feel free to post a letter to the editor, whether it is to say hello, to make an observation, to make a request, to issue a statement or even to make a complaint!

All letters will be printed, and all letters will be answered.
91 Comments
CAUGHT OUT IN THE SNOW
Posted:Dec 1, 2021 8:24 am
Last Updated:Dec 4, 2021 11:45 am
2329 Views


It snowed here a few days ago. Nottingham does not normally see snow until well after Christmas. I decided to make the most of the snow by clambering up onto the roof to fix a loose tile. It was not one of my best ideas as my onesie came undone and I ended half-naked on the roof!

Do you like the snow?
How much snow do you get in your winter?
When was the last time you made a snowman (or snowwoman)?


I love the snow, especially around Christmas, but it has been ages since I last made a snowman. I love a snowball fight when it snows.

Below is an assortment of snow-themed photographs. I particularly like the first photo of soldiers throwing snowballs during the First World War, presumably they ran out of ammunition! The last photo is the Sleepwalker, a piece of installation art made by Tony Matelli; I think it is a bit creepy!
















26 Comments
FROM NOT COOL TO COOL
Posted:Nov 30, 2021 8:57 am
Last Updated:Dec 2, 2021 6:13 am
3261 Views


My first nickname at school was Blubber-Belly. I was ten years old and I was not fat, honest! But can be cruel in their nicknames. My nickname soon got changed to Dubber-Delly, slightly better but still not cool.

A few years into school, now in my teens, my nickname got shortened even more and became Dub. This nickname was much better and became cool when dub reggae was popular in the late 1970s. I have to admit that I liked my nickname then.

My younger brother was called Little Dub, even though he was bigger than me!


What was your nickname at school?
Do you have any nicknames now?


Nearly everyone at school, both pupils and teachers, had nicknames. Other pupils were called Baa-Baa, Big Bertha, Griffo, Herbert, Sheister, Ski, Tuppenny Twat, Twanger and Wally.

You can probably guess why Big Bertha got his nickname. Tuppenny Twat was a nod to The Six Million Dollar Man that was very popular at the time. Sheister got his nickname because a pair of his pooed-in pants was found in the box of his Monopoly game. My best friend was nicknamed Ski because one of his legs was much shorter than the other so probably would not be able to ski that well! School, especially in the dorms, was sometimes a brutal world.

Some of the nicknames of my teachers were Bengo, Colonel, Dan, Din, Flash, Jesse, Master Bates, Motty and One-Ball. He was called One-Ball because he foolishly told us that he only had one testicle! Dan, the physics teacher, even had his own song that we would sing in his class - Dan, Dan the physics man; his dick is big and hairy; and he dances like a fairy! As I write, I am still embarrassed by all this.


19 Comments
THE NEW COMMUNITY FORMAT - BETA IS NOT BETTER!
Posted:Nov 28, 2021 5:45 am
Last Updated:Dec 3, 2021 10:12 am
3000 Views


I have tried the new beta Community format of this site on several occasions since it was recently re-launched. My view is that it is an unmitigated disaster. At a stroke, it has smashed a virtual community into smithereens. In no way does the new format promote a sense of community in both blogland and groupland. In fact, it does the exact opposite; it has destroyed the existing, albeit far from perfect, sense of community.

The new format is slightly better than the new format that was foisted on us a few months back, but only very marginally better. The site had to quickly do a reverse-ferret with that launch. The new format is still one big car crash! I realise change, especially radical change, often meets resistance. But this change stops me doing what I normally do in blogland.

Normally I look at and reply to new comments to my blog posts, then I look at replies to my comments on other blog posts, and finally I look at and comment on posts of bloggers I follow. If I have time I may look at recent posts of other bloggers or look at the list of new bloggers. And, a few times a week, I will write a new blog post. With the new format, I cannot easily do what I normally do.

Below are 15 examples of how my normal blogland routines are disrupted:
- new comments to my blog posts are not easy to find
- comments to some of my blog posts have disappeared
- my replies to comments posted on my blog posts have vanished
- many images uploaded with blog posts do not appear
- the description of my blog has been reduced to a few lines
- alerts take me back to things that happened a long time ago
- each of my saved posts are listed twice
- my sticky blog post for members to contact me has vanished
- new posts of my followed bloggers can only be found by searching each of their blogs
- the opening page of blogland is just a list of random blog posts
- recent blog posts cannot be found
- new bloggers cannot be easily found
- so-called top bloggers cannot be easily found (some may say this is a plus point!)
- blocked members are now unblocked
- and incredibly, the apostrophe is still mangled

As for groups, the new format has just made moderating or participating in groups a fruitless mission. Groups are just a footnote to the community.

The site has just atomised our blogland community. The new format needs at least an opening generic page like we have now. Otherwise, we will just be ships in the night occasionally bumping each other!


Have you looked at the new Community?
If so, what do you think of the new beta format?
Is it better or worse than the old format?


It is now clear why the site has not fixed the increasing glitches, such as the disappearing images, the stolen little words, the pilfered letters, the mangled apostrophe and the unrecognised bullet points. It decided long ago that these glitches were not worth fixing by updating its codes because it was going to roll out the new format.

After the site imposed the new format on us a few months back, I decided not to renew my gold membership and to lapse into standard membership until the site settled on its new format. Being a standard member meant I could still blog and still participate in groups even if I could no longer read or send mail.

Given that the site has not listened to its members or, if it has listened, it has decided to do its own thing in rolling out this new format, I may not even bother being a standard member.


38 Comments
NO THANKSGIVING HERE
Posted:Nov 24, 2021 10:37 am
Last Updated:Nov 27, 2021 8:04 am
5120 Views


Thanksgiving Day is a national holiday in a few countries. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day in America. Thanksgiving Day has already taken place in Canada. Two Caribbean countries, Grenada and Saint Lucia, and the African country of Liberia, founded to home freed black slaves from America, also have their own Thanksgiving Day.

There are no Thanksgiving celebrations here in Britain. The only people celebrating Thanksgiving here are Americans living in Britain and Brits lucky enough to be invited to the Thanksgiving meal at the American embassy in London.

The closest we get to Thanksgiving is the Harvest Festival, which traditionally took place after harvest and involved eating lots of harvested food. Harvest Festival nowadays is largely confined to churches and involves singing hymns not eating roast turkey. Here, roast turkey is a very popular Christmas meal.

Of all celebrations here, Christmas is the most important to me, followed by birthday celebrations. I do not celebrate Easter but I very much enjoy that the Easter weekend is a very long weekend with two public holidays on Good Friday and Easter Monday. For that reason alone, I am pleased Jesus was crucified and resurrected either side of the weekend!


Do you celebrate Thanksgiving?
If so, how do you celebrate Thanksgiving?
What celebration is the most important to you?


To all my American friends, I wish you all a very Happy Thanksgiving. And I wish all my Canadian friends a very belated Happy Thanksgiving.

Below are two fully-naked half-turkeys in flagrante delicto!


31 Comments
BEING BICURIOUS
Posted:Nov 22, 2021 9:22 am
Last Updated:Nov 28, 2021 6:19 am
5229 Views




When looking for other couples to meet up for sex or to invite to sex parties, I used to closely read their profiles. It was common for the man or the woman, or both, to describe themselves as bicurious. I often wondered what this term meant.

I understood that someone could be curious about having sex with someone of the same sex, whether gay or lesbian sex. I was and still am curious. But the label seemed to mean much more than idle curiousity.

Bicurious, at least to me, suggests that the person is tempted to try a same-sex experience; being bicurious without any interest in having such an experience is pretty meaningless.

But once someone has had sex with someone of the same sex and enjoyed the same-sex experience, then, surely they are no longer bicurious but bisexual. Being bicurious is surely a transient description of sexual orientation until such curiousity has been satisfied or not. Bicurious is temporary.

Despite this, bicurious remains a common description of the sexual orientation of many couples on this site. Perhaps they are unsure whether they enjoyed the same-sex experience but are still curious to give it another whirl. Perhaps the conditions that they want their same-sex experience to take place are so idealised that they are impossible to be met in the real world. Or perhaps they did not get round to updating their profile.

However, I think there may be other reasons why couples describe themselves as bicurious. I think many men in a couple relationship are more likely to describe themselves as bicurious rather than bisexual because they do not want to scare off other men. Also, given men often write the profile of the couple, I think many men are likely to describe their female partner as bicurious because they like the idea of watching their partner getting it on with another woman.

For these reasons, when I saw a profile of a bicurious couple, I used to assume that the man was bisexual and the woman was straight.


How would you describe your sexuality?
What does bicurious mean to you?
Are you bicurious?


Sexuality is fluid, making it difficult to categorise and problems always arise at the margins of categories. But, having said that, I am straight and curious but without being bicurious; I am not interested in having sex with another man. Apart from a few awkward fumblings after lights-out at boarding school, I have not experienced sex with a man. At last, I have come out as heterosexual!

However, having said that, there were a couple of occasions when, in the heat of the moment, sex with a woman did involve another man. The first occasion when I allowed a man to caress my balls as I was fucking his wife; it seemed rude to turn down his request! The other occasion was when I cupped the balls of another man as he was fucking my partner; I wanted him to cum as I do like sloppy seconds!

Perhaps I am momentarily bisexual!




29 Comments
A FINGER RING
Posted:Nov 20, 2021 6:57 am
Last Updated:Nov 28, 2021 3:04 am
6335 Views


There are rings for ears, which we always call earrings; also there are toe rings, eyebrow rings, nose rings, belly button rings, tongue rings, nipple rings, clit rings and cock rings. But for rings that we wear on our fingers, we just say rings, never fingerrings!

If we did, just imagine how awkward the vow taken at a marriage would be. With this fingerring, I, John Jones, thee wed you, Lucy Lee!

Or how uncomfortable it would be for a woman just engaged visiting her parents to tell them of her engagement. Mum, Dad, Lucy here ... I am now engaged to John, who has just given me an incredible fingerring!

Or what the father of John would say just before he proposes to Lucy. John, you make sure you give Lucy a good fingerring. I gave your mother the same fingerring that your grandfather gave your grandmother!

That is why rings for fingers are not called fingerrings!


Do you wear any rings on your body?
If so, what rings have you got, and where do you wear them?


I do not wear any rings, not even a wedding ring.

I have always wanted my partners to get a nipple ring and a clit ring, but they have never been persuaded to get pierced in those places. Even when I have pointed out that it is only the same as getting their ears pierced, they have remained unconvinced.

I cannot take any credit for this post. The joke about fingerrings is lifted from Celia Pacquola, a very funny Australian comedian.

And the two photos are the fingerrings that Prince William and Prince Harry gave to Kate Middleton and Meghan Markle; clearly the Duchess of Cambridge got a bigger fingerring than the Duchess of Sussex!


31 Comments
MY ULTRAVIOLET WILLY
Posted:Nov 17, 2021 9:14 am
Last Updated:Nov 21, 2021 5:30 am
8510 Views


The theme for this Half Nekkid Wednesday is things starting with the letters U, V or W - see November 17: Things that start with U, V or W. I am choosing my ultraviolet willy, which covers all three letters if ultraviolet were two words.

Above is what I would look like if I was to do a spot of arc welding. A special welding face shield needs to be worn when welding because the arc welder emits dangerous ultraviolet light. Arc welding looks dangerous!


Have you ever used a welder?
If so, what did you weld?


On a few occasions and under strict supervision, I have used a welder when living on the farm. I cannot remember what I welded, almost certainly something very simple.

Back to the theme of Half Nekkid Wednesday, below is my ultraviolet willy. This blowjob was dangerous as neither of us were wearing any goggles; it was unsafe sex but fortunately neither of us suffered from arc eye. I will wear googles next time!


29 Comments
FARTING IS TO BE CRIMINALISED
Posted:Nov 16, 2021 10:52 am
Last Updated:Nov 20, 2021 8:10 am
8936 Views


The 2021 United Nations Climate Change Conference, widely known as COP26, has just finished. The talks were held in the Scottish city of Glasgow. Nearly every world leader attended its proceedings; notable exceptions were the Chinese, Russian and Turkish leaders, though there were Chinese, Russian and Turkish delegations at the conference.

The main aim of COP26 was to agree on measures to combat climate change and, in particular, to limit the increases of global temperature. In Paris, six years ago, COP21 agreed to limit global warming to within 1.5C of pre-industrial levels.

There is global warming because of the increasing emission of so-called greenhouse gases, like carbon dioxide and methane, which trap heat in the atmosphere that would otherwise escape into space. The Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, consisting of leading climate scientists, reported that the effects of global warming in excess of 2.0C would be catastrophic and irreversible.

Several deals were struck in Glasgow. First, there was an agreement, signed by 137 countries covering over 90 per cent of all forests, to halt and reverse forest loss and land degradation. Trees absorb carbon dioxide and release oxygen. Already, because of deforestation, the Amazon releases more carbon dioxide than it absorbs.

Second, there was an agreement over methane emissions. Over 100 countries pledged to cut their methane emissions. However, three of the five largest methane emitters, China, India and Russia, refused to sign this agreement. Methane is a very potent greenhouse; it warms the atmosphere 80 times faster than carbon dioxide. Farting will become an act of climate crime!

Third, there was an agreement to reduce the use of coal. But this agreement was watered down, after last-minute objections from China and India, from phasing out to phasing down the use of coal. India is almost totally dependent on coal to fuel its economy.

Fourth, there was a limited agreement to phase out fossil-fuel cars and vans signed by over 30 countries. But China, Germany and the US refused to sign this agreement. Germany exports a lot of cars!

Fifth, there was a renewed pledge that rich countries would provide so-called climate finance to poor countries in recognition that richer countries have most caused global warming and are best placed to manage its effects, and that poorer countries are most adversely affected by climate change and are least able to deal with its effects. It is one thing for the Dutch to manage the North Sea with its system of dykes to stop Amsterdam from mass flooding; and it is another thing for the Maldives, a group of low-lying islands, to stop disappearing into the Indian Ocean as sea levels rise. But this pledge has been made before and the monies never materialised.

Overall, COP26 is a mixed bag. The agreements to end deforestation and to cut methane emissions are very significant in combatting global warming. But its agreements on coal, cars and climate finance are far less significant; they are fudged deals which do little more than kick these issues into touch. But these climate change talks are part of an ongoing process; there is COP27 next year to be held in Egypt, where it will be at least much warmer than Scotland.


How worried are you about climate change?
Do you think governments are doing enough to combat climate change?
How green are you in everyday life?


I am very worried about climate change. I am quite green in the way I live. I use public transport, but I do eat meat. Climate change is by far the biggest issue facing the world today; it is an existential threat. Governments are doing something but I worry what they are doing may be too little, too late. I very much hope I am proved wrong.

For those who want to read more on climate change, there is a very informative website, Climate Action Tracker, which shows on a thermometer how the world is doing in controlling global warming. Also, for what it is worth, I did a post on COP21 six years ago - see GOOD COP, BAD COP.
















29 Comments
THE APOSTROPHE IS DEAD
Posted:Nov 12, 2021 10:27 am
Last Updated:Nov 24, 2021 3:52 am
14880 Views




It is now official; the apostrophe is dead. This site no longer recognises the humble apostrophe. Not only does it steal little words, the site now translates the apostrophe into gibberish. Here is an example:

It’s so cold that I can’t feel my hands’ fingers, but I’ll continue to type out this evening’s post. This site won’t update its’ codes meaning that its’ members can’t read what I’m writing about. It’s a shame … or perhaps it’s a blessing!

In 2001, the Apostrophe Protection Society was founded with "the specific aim of preserving the correct use of this currently much abused punctuation mark". However, in December 2019 its founder, John Richards, disbanded the Apostrophe Protection Society because no one seemed to care about the punctuation mark.

In Bristol, an English city, there is a grammar vigilante who secretly adds an apostrophe to street and shop signs where an apostrophe has been omitted. He is the equivalent to Banksy but in the world of grammar. Strangely it is believed that Banksy is from Bristol; perhaps Banksy is also this grammarian guerrilla as well as the renowned street artist!


Do you use apostrophes correctly?
How good is your grammar?
Are you a grammarhead?


I am a proud grammarhead; in my job I had to be correct in my grammar. And, just as my academic colleagues picked up on any of my grammatical errors, I took delight in correcting any grammatical mistakes made by my students.

It is not easy to explain how an apostrophe should be used without using an apostrophe in action, but I am going to have to try. The use of an apostrophe is quite simple. There are two main uses of an apostrophe. First, an apostrophe is used to denote there is a missing letter when writing a word. Second, an apostrophe denotes the possessive case of a noun; in other words, it indicates that something or someone belongs to something or someone.

Inside are some examples of the uses of an apostrophe; the site only mangles apostrophes used in posts not in comments on posts!




55 Comments
AUTUMN FALLS
Posted:Nov 10, 2021 10:03 am
Last Updated:Nov 13, 2021 6:33 am
10735 Views


Autumn is my favourite season. I like Autumn so much that I always lie on a fallen tree trunk in the local woods! Autumn is not too hot nor too cold. And it marks the countdown to Christmas. I love Christmas!

Christmas here seems to be starting earlier than usual. Christmas adverts regularly appear on television. And the trash movie channel I watch in the afternoons is showing Christmas films only.

Shops are busy stocking Christmas stuff. And people are busy buying the stuff. I think people are shopping early because they are worried about shortages in the run-up to Christmas.

Normally Christmas is made in China but, because of increased energy prices, many Chinese factories have shut down. Also with increased shipping costs worldwide and the post-Brexit shortage of lorry drivers here to move stuff from the ports to the shops, Christmas could be grim this year!

If Christmas is starting early, then I need to write my Christmas present list now. Top of the list is a Marcelo Bielsa bucket. He is the manager of my football team, Leeds United, and he frequently sits on a blue bucket yelling instructions out to his players. The bucket was top of my birthday present list a few months back, but no one gave one to me as a present. Hopefully the bucket is not made in China!


What is your favourite season?
Has Christmas started early where you are?


Below is Autumn Falls, an American porn star. Given her name, she clearly wanted to appeal to both the American and British markets. She was promised to be my girlfriend tonight but she tragically died before our arranged date!

23 Comments
HOW BABIES ARE MADE
Posted:Nov 8, 2021 12:30 pm
Last Updated:Nov 10, 2021 11:48 am
11371 Views


I’ve never been properly told how babies are made. No one has bothered to tell me the so-called facts of life. Perhaps this explains why I have no .

When I was at school, aged about 11, I believed that a woman had to drink a man’s pee to make a baby. My friends soon told me that this was rubbish but they didn’t tell me how a baby is made - perhaps they didn’t know!

One friend even told me that making a baby is like putting a plug in a socket. Metaphorically, this is quite good but it didn’t exactly make me want to have a baby when I grew up - why would I want to electrocute myself to have a baby?!

My school never gave instruction on how babies are made. The closest my school got to sex education was in biology. But these lessons only taught me how plants reproduce through pollination. This wasn’t much help to me as I didn’t have a stamen that could pollinate a pistil’s stigma.

When rummaging around my parents’ bedroom, in my early teens, I found a book on the facts of life, as well as an opened packet of condoms. But my parents never got round to tell me how babies are made - perhaps the book was for them!


When and how did you find out how babies are made?
Have you explained to how babies are made? If so, how did it go?


Reading the Bible about the Virgin Mary and her Immaculate Conception didn’t help in my quest to find out how babies are made. I’ve tried immaculate sex for a long time and no baby has ever appeared!

It was only in my later years at school that I found out how to make a baby. Porn magazines helped me in this quest. But these magazines never featured babies on their pages, so there was still some mystery how a baby is made.


35 Comments
MOVE OVER BANKSY
Posted:Nov 5, 2021 10:44 am
Last Updated:Nov 9, 2021 8:19 am
12972 Views








Here, above and below, is a selection of artwork by Sandrine Boulet, a French artist. She takes photographs of everyday objects found on the streets of Paris and draws over them to make art. Art’s that simple!

Though Sandrine Boulet’s work isn’t graffiti as she doesn’t paint on the streets, her work is similar to Banksy’s work but without the politics.


Do you like Sandrine Boulet’s artwork?
Do you think graffiti on publicly-owned property should be legalised?
Would you like Banksy to secretly visit you and leave behind a mural on your home?


I think street art is great. It brightens up the place. It seems to be called street art when it’s been officially commissioned. If not official, it’s just graffit But I think graffiti on publicly-owned property should be allowed and even encouraged on the streets.

Now, nearly everyone seems to Banksy to do his next mural on their home so they can it for lots of money! For that reason alone, I’d love Banksy to secretly visit my home.








25 Comments

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Most Recent Comments by Others

Post Poster Post Date
THE NEW COMMUNITY FORMAT - BETA IS NOT BETTER! (41)Andrew
Dec 4, 2021 11:28 am
CAUGHT OUT IN THE SNOW (26)Erogedyne
Dec 2, 2021 8:51 pm
FROM NOT COOL TO COOL (19)pal334
Dec 1, 2021 7:24 am
A FINGER RING (31)scoupe42
Nov 27, 2021 12:26 pm
NO THANKSGIVING HERE (31)DanielZwat1950
Nov 26, 2021 4:38 am
BEING BICURIOUS (29)PonyGirl1965
Nov 25, 2021 12:27 am
THE APOSTROPHE IS DEAD (56)CuriousHer
Nov 23, 2021 10:31 pm
MY ULTRAVIOLET WILLY (29)flannel_light
Nov 20, 2021 7:01 am
LETTERS TO THE EDITOR (116)superbjversion2
Nov 18, 2021 9:11 pm
FARTING IS TO BE CRIMINALISED (29)HAMONMAN
Nov 18, 2021 3:27 pm
AUTUMN FALLS (23)Art4urPleasure
Nov 12, 2021 10:34 am